Part 3 The S.T.U.P.I.D. Series

An Unexpected Cause of S.T.U.P.I.D.

How childhood could be triggering S.T.U.P.I.D. flare-ups

Watch the video on YouTube or Substack.

We’re continuing our discussion about a serious condition, S.T.U.P.I.D.

When someone has a S.T.U.P.I.D. flare-up it means they are

Stuck Temporarily Unaware of Personal Inner Direction.

The best way to prevent S.T.U.P.I.D. flare-ups is to consider potential causes.

Disclaimer:  I am not an expert who has it all figured out. 

I’m just sharing what I have observed and what life has validated for me through my own childhood, my career in child advocacy, motherhood, and being lots of years old…Lol

And what I believe is this –

childhood is the foundation upon which we build our entire lives.

And I know this is common knowledge in a broad sense. 

We’ve all heard,

“Childhood shapes you.”

“Those are the formative years.”

“Kids are like sponges.”

“Your early experiences matter.”

We hear these phrases, and it makes sense, and we agree…

but that’s usually the extent of it. 

We know childhood matters.

But do we really understand how deeply it may be affecting the way we react, protect, connect, shut down, speak up, over-explain, people-please, try to control, avoid, explode, or emotionally spiral as adults, still today?

Maybe, maybe not…life is busy. 

Half the time we’re doing good just to survive the day to day.  When figuring out what’s for dinner feels like a feat, we certainly don’t have the capacity, or even the desire, really, to dissect our childhood to see what role it plays in our day-to-day life.

So, let’s visualize it instead.

Imagine building a house on a damaged foundation.

Visually, we instantly know this won’t work.

Our emotional life is much the same.

Childhood is when our nervous system is being wired, so we can also think of it like wiring our home when it’s being built.  Our nervous system powers our emotions;

it’s essentially our autopilot- how we automatically react…especially to triggers.

And if you’re thinking, “My childhood was fine. This doesn’t really apply to me.”

Maybe.

But maybe this is also where we need to widen our lens. 

Because I’m not only talking about severe childhood trauma.

Foundational issues can come from much subtler things too: emotional tone, family roles, praise patterns, shame patterns, silence, expectations, sibling dynamics,

how adults modeled handling conflict, whether feelings were welcomed or minimized, whether love felt safe or conditional, whether a child felt seen, useful, annoying, special, responsible, invisible, too much or not enough.

Those things may not always look dramatic from the outside. 

But when you were five, or 11…they mattered…and they still do.

So, when I say our childhoods could be causing S.T.U.P.I.D. flare-ups you can start to see how our foundation and our internal wiring could still be impacting the way we operate on a daily basis. 

So, to come full circle, this clearly shows us that it’s not really about what others are doing or trying to fix “them.” 

Our foundation matters.  Our wiring matters.  Our BackStory matters.

So, it’s about shoring up our own foundation and rewiring our nervous system so we can feel emotionally safe and find peace…and reach our Secret Pond- where our emotional waters are calm and clear enough that we can see what’s really going on beneath the surface.

I truly believe so much of what we see going on today is people expressing their unmet needs, and unresolved hurt and trauma…even from childhood.

So many of us lack self-worth, yet we are all born worthy.

All this to say, if we look inward first, with honesty, the world around us starts to quiet and empathy grows, hopefully not just for others, but for ourselves, too. 

And you really do begin to see that so many of us are truly

Stuck Temporarily Unaware of Personal Inner Direction. 

In the next episode I’ll share some personal experiences that demonstrate how something as small as a little barking dog can have a big impact on our emotional foundation.

That’s it for today…and remember, don’t be a BEEP!

And as Grandad always used to say,

“Now there’s some sense to that.”  

Until next time, wishing you

much love and laughter,