Our Story- Our WHY

When I picked Drew up from school after his first day of Kindergarten,

he immediately asked,

“Mom, why are kids so mean?”

My heart sank.

This was not the happy milestone moment I was expecting.

Though I wasn’t prepared for this question, thankfully, my 20-year career in social services- 15 of those in child advocacy- had given me a great deal of insight into children and families.

“Because their hearts hurt.”

I replied.

Looking back now, I realize how profound that question was for someone so little. Instead of simply telling me kids were mean to him, he genuinely wanted to understand WHY.

That milestone moment didn’t just break my heart- it shaped our mission.
I had no idea, at the time, it would become the backbone of

everything we do, and the spark that still fuels ELF365 today.

When we got home, we sat down and talked about what happened.

Then, I shared with him scenarios I’d seen in my work and explained that,

oftentimes, when people feel sad… it looks like mad.

Maybe you’ve heard the saying, “Mad is sad’s bodyguard”?

THAT.

But I assured him that he didn’t have to be a victim.

And yes, I used that word.

Instead, I told him I thought he could help the kids who were hurting him.

He was confused…but curious.

To empower him, I offered him a little challenge.

“Next time someone is mean, ask them these questions:

Why are you acting this way?
Is everything OK?
Is there something I can help you with?

The next day, when kids were mean,

Drew mustered up the courage and asked the questions.

The result?

The kids opened up.

They poured their little hurting hearts out.

And…in most cases, they became friends.

Soon, instead of getting in the car asking why kids are mean,

Drew jumped in- excited!

“Mom! Guess what?! I found out so-and-so’s backstory today!”

And that’s why we started using #KnowTheirBackStory -

a simple way for Drew to share what a “mean kid” confided in him,

straight from their own hurting heart.

The BackStory to the BackStory (Tee hee) is....

COMING SOON!

Our new book, The Bad Kid -

written by Carmen and illustrated by Drew-

is based on this very story!

Pssst! And it’s not just for kids.

The story gently reminds grown-ups that there’s a “bad kid”

inside each of us, too…for real, though!

THE GIFT OF GIVING

With all the hurting hearts Drew encountered, including his own, I wanted to take it a step further and show him the incredible feeling you get from giving.

So, we started doing random acts of kindness.

Drew took these RAKS to heart and began replicating them on his own.

He LOVED giving.

WHY?

Because giving is such a gift. It is deeply restorative. It shifts our focus

from the hurt we’ve experienced to the good we still have the power to create.

When I thought about the impact this had on him, plus, how he was using questions and compassion to reach out to other kids with great success,

I felt butterflies in my stomach. Emotion and excitement swept over me.

Drew made me realize the potential impact we could make

if we could package the Gift of Giving.

Every child deserves to experience the restorative joy of giving.

It helped Drew focus on the good he could create

instead of only the hurt he had experienced.

That November, I created our first set of lesson kits

for Drew’s first-grade class.

Those early kits sparked countless conversations and lasting memories.

This solidified for me just how powerful the Gift of Giving can be-

and that’s why we still stand by our Keep-One-Give-One model today, tenfold.

And they lived happily ever after…

NOT QUITE

No Help. No Hope.

By the time Drew was nine, the kids had gotten older

and “being mean” had escalated to a whole new level.

Drew wept uncontrollably almost every day after school.

He started to show warning signs for suicide.

I was terrified.

After he was cornered in a bathroom by two boys,

I feared for his safety at school.

Things were spiraling.

People said,

“Ask to change classes and/or teachers.”

“Go to the school board.”

“Change schools.”

But I asked myself,

“What would that fix?”

And I knew the answer.

Nothing.

That’s when I realized- no one really knew what to do.

There was nothing to empower Drew.

Nothing to help me help him.

Nothing to help turn some of the most negative, impactful, painful moments into positive, impactful, teachable ones.

No resources that could help *both* Drew and the kids who were hurting him…kids who, I knew, were hurting, too.

I knew I had to do something.

So, I asked Drew if he was willing to take what we were already doing-

and go bigger and louder and make it more official.

I am thankful every day that he said, “YES.”

My brave world-changer stepped through the darkness to be a light…again.

In 2017 we created something because there was nothing.

It helped me help him.

It saved him.

It saved me.

It saved us.

If it saves one child like it saved Drew...

If it saves one parent like it saved me…

If it saves anyone like it saved us…

IT MATTERS.

That’s our WHY.

I will always be grateful that I get to do this work with Drew-
that he’s still here, and that we’ve been entrusted with the mission
to use our stories and strengths in service to others.

And while his strengths are many, it's his artwork that brings

what we do to life on the page. His artwork, the characters he creates,

speak for us and share our message. Not to mention the two books

he wrote when he was nine years old and later illustrated himself at 15.

Want to join our community?! Click HERE! Whoo hoo!

But, for me, this barely scratches the surface of paying it forward

in gratitude...

Read more about Carmen, The Secret PondCast

and Don't Be a BEEP with Carmen Miller

on the adult-facing branch of our movement under

Guidance for Grownups!

Outreach

ELF365 was created to help as many kids as possible ELF365!

(Yep, ELF365 is also a verb! )

That’s why proceeds help provide FREE ELFercise Kits for Kids.
Since 2017, we’ve donated over 15,000 free Kits in 15 countries and 46 states- that’s 30,000+ lessons shared around the world… and counting!

Thanks to YOU and your support, we’ve also donated 550+ books and 675+ toys to children across the United States…and we’re just getting started! 😉

The heart of ELF365 is simple but powerful:

Empathy + love and acceptance of sELF and others.

ELF365 is all about kids helping kids.

We believe children are uniquely positioned to help,

influence and motivate their peers.

By harnessing the overwhelming power of peer pressure,

and using it for good, ELF365 encourages kids to:

“Think like an ELF and be your best sELF.”

Click HERE to join our community!

COMING 2026 → ELF365 Degrees
Designed for schools, nonprofits and groups,

ELF365 Degrees isn’t just a program-

it’s a movement created to spark a culture change!

We call it an ELFolution!

One where empathy comes naturally and embracing our “weird” is the norm!

ELF stands for Exemplify Love and Friendship.

ELF365 equips kids to lead with love, empathy, and courage-

EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Our tools are simple, memorable, and designed for real-world impact:

ELFercises are short, rhyming, story-based card kits that teach social-emotional skills through hands-on learning. Every ELFercise Kit comes with an item to keep and an item to give.

Each Kit follows our keep-one-give-one model we call the Gift of Giving.
Kids cut the card down the middle and get to keep the front artwork, which becomes a collectible ELF365 Character Card featuring Drew’s illustrations. The child also gets to keep one item. Then the lesson poem and the second item go back in the resealable bag to give away! One ELFercise = Double the Impact!

Pointers for Parents & Teachers are far more than just tips- they’re thoughtful, compassionate guides offering deeper insight, emotional context, and real-life tools to help adults support kids with heart and intention when doing ELFercises and reading ELF365 stories. The optional Pointers Plus+ Extension Activity Sets take ELFercises to an entirely new level.

ELFercise compilation and companion books expand the world of ELF365, bringing our themes to life through memorable characters, storylines, and playful, purposeful learning.

Together, these resources help children become positive peer role models-

at school, at home, and in the world.

So, what does it REALLY mean to think like an ELF and be your best sELF?

All ELFs are asked to recite and follow our

Code of Conduct and Declaration -
simple but powerful reminders of who we are and how we lead with love.

ELF365 Code of Conduct