Neutralizing the Evil Never-Ending To-Do List
- Apr 3
- 5 min read
You can listen to this blog post on The Secret PondCast with Carmen Miller
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If you happened to read my previous post, you might remember that one of my
super alter egos is Get’er Done Girl! But the evil Never-Ending To-Do List was her kryptonite. If it’s not the list, it doesn’t exist. So, let’s disCUSS the evil Never-Ending To-Do List!
So, Ricky Reality Check just popped in to make sure I tell you that I do still have a to-do list and yes, Ricky, it is still multiple pages long…and yes, when you turn your back,
even for a second, it still multiplies like rabbits.
BUT (there’s always a big but and it’s usually mine…) I realized something important about the evil Never-Ending To-List: not everything on it was a need to do. A lot of it was a want to do. And some of it was performative…and remember we perform to be valued and have self-worth…even though we are all born worthy.
It’s the lens we view the list through that really matters. Things exist on our list for different reasons. You can always channel I Have Questions Girl (or guy!) and ask WHY? WHY is this on my list? Am I chasing a squirrel?
That simple question turned into a system for me.
I started thinking about my list in three categories.
1. What I truly needed to do
2. What I wanted to do
3. What I was doing just to perform or prove something.
Then I used my Prioritization Power to choose the top three things that actually mattered, and I gave myself permission to let everything else just exist for now.
All this to say that you, too, can neutralize your evil Never-Ending To-Do List…
by asking questions and viewing the things on your list through a different lens.
For me, asking WHY strengthened my Prioritization Power. Prioritization is a superpower I’ve always had, but it’s much more effective now when I ask WHY. Asking WHY and walking it back, connecting the emotional dots, helped me narrow my list down to the top three things I truly wanted to lean into, and this led to my discovery of Epiphany Girl.
As for allllll the other stuff on the list. Yes, it’s still there, but I look at it differently now. Some things I just don’t want to forget. They’ve become exciting possibilities instead of soul-crushing pressures. I noticed that as the list started to feel better, I felt less overwhelmed, more motivated and it felt do-able, again. Proof that a little reframing can go a long way.
After identifying the top three things on my list, I decided to surrender everything else on my list to what was meant for me. I trusted that what is mine will not pass me by.
I decided to allow.
I opened myself up to the things on my list OR...something better.
What do I mean by this?
Let’s look at it like this- when we are married to specific outcomes, we seem to overlook how that sometimes boxes us in. Remember Captain Control? Control is fear-based.
So, what if there was a better outcome that we can’t even begin to imagine waiting for us…better than whatever we have on our list? BUT we miss it because we were too busy herding our outcomes like cattle…into very specific pens/boxes…
when, if we’d just let them graze in openness, no tellin’ what could have happened
or what they could have evolved into...let Flow surprise you instead.
We met Flow in the last post when I radically surrendered all outcomes,
relieved Captain Control of his duty (yes, I said duty!) and let go of fear. I wanted to be open to what was truly meant for me….and that’s when I met Flow. And she has been full of surprises. What she brought was much better, stronger and aligned than anything that Captain Control and I ever tried to cook up, over plan or force.
And it all came with so much more ease than I had ever experienced.
Once I let Flow take over, I started to notice that things I initially planned were being replaced with things that carried more purpose and depth. The foundation of my to-do list shifted from performance and fear to alignment.
For instance, I planned to write a new children’s book that I’m still very excited about. BUT (there’s that big but again!) it just didn’t happen. After using my Prioritization Power, I could see that it clearly belonged lower on the list…I did feel sad about it. But I processed that and didn’t wallow in the wallows.
A few months later, while writing an activity set for our ELF365 superhero kit (synchronicity much?!) I wrote a different children’s book without even realizing it.
The book is essentially our origin story of why we started ELF365.
It’s called, The Bad Kid. (I’ve included Drew’s cover design at the bottom of the post!)
The Bad Kid will be out in a few months- remember no hard-core timelines! 😉 And the sadness I felt from not doing the other book was replaced with the excitement and depth of this one. I knew immediately this book was far more important right now than the one I originally intended to write. Thank you, Flow!
I watched my list shift every week, sometimes every few days, until finally the top three priorities for my long game were crystal clear. Rarely had I ever seen Crystal before,
but man, she was spot on…and there wasn’t a squirrel in sight.
This doesn’t mean that Get’er Done Girl never has hiccups. She does. But when that happens, I ask, “WHY?” I walk it back. I connect the emotional dots and trust.
Trust that what is mine will not pass me by…and I take it one day at a time.
The past is a wonderful reference, especially for healing, but we don’t live there.
The future holds incredible opportunities that we cannot even fathom.
But we’re not there yet.
There will never be another today. So don’t give it away. It’s your gift.
It’s your time to be present.
You are more than a to do list...
and you were born worthy.
And as Grandad always used to say, “Now there’s some sense to that.”
Until next time, wishing you much love and laughter.

Coming Soon 2026!


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