Our Story

When I picked Drew up from school after his first day of Kindergarten,

he immediately asked,

“Mom, why are kids so mean?”

My heart sank.

This was not the happy milestone moment- Mom can’t wait to hear all about your first day of Kindergarten- I expected to have.

Though I wasn’t prepared for this question at all, thankfully, my 20-year career in social services- 15 of those in child advocacy- had given me a great deal of insight into children and families.

“Because their hearts hurt.”

I replied.

Looking back now, I realize how profound that question was for someone so little. Instead of simply telling me kids were mean to him, he genuinely wanted to understand why.

That milestone moment didn’t just break my heart- it shaped our mission.
I had no idea, at the time, it would become the backbone of

everything we do, and the spark that still fuels ELF365 today.

When we got home, we sat down and talked about what happened.

Then, I shared with him scenarios I’d seen in my work and explained that,

oftentimes, when people feel sad… it looks like mad.

Maybe you’ve heard the saying, “Mad is sad’s bodyguard”?

THAT.

I assured him that he didn’t have to be a victim.

And yes, I used that word.

Instead, I told him I thought he could help the kids who were hurting him.

He looked confused…but curious.

To empower him, I offered him a little challenge.

“Next time someone is mean, ask them these questions:

Why are you acting this way?
Is everything OK?
Is there something I can help you with?”

The next day, when kids were mean,

Drew mustered up the courage and asked the questions.

The result?

The kids opened up.

They poured their little hurting hearts out.

And…in most cases, they became friends.

Soon, instead of getting in the car asking why kids are mean,

Drew jumped in- excited!

“Mom! Guess what?! I found out so-and-so’s backstory today!”

And that’s why we started using #KnowTheirBackStory -

a simple way for Drew to share what a “mean kid” confided in him,

straight from their own hurting heart.

The BackStory to the BackStory (Tee hee) is....

COMING SOON!

Our new book, The Bad Kid -

written by Carmen and illustrated by Drew-

is based on this very story!

Pssst! And it’s not just for kids.

The story gently reminds grown-ups that there’s a “bad kid”

inside each of us, too…for real, though!

THE GIFT OF GIVING

With all the hurt hearts Drew encountered, including his own, I wanted to take it a step further and show him the incredible feeling you get from giving.

So, we began doing random acts of kindness as a family.

Drew took these RAKS to heart and began replicating them on his own.

He LOVED giving. Why? Because giving is such a gift. When I thought about the impact this had on him, plus, how he was using questions and compassion to reach out to other kids, with great success, I felt butterflies in my stomach.

Emotion and excitement swept over me.

Drew made me realize the potential impact we could make if we could package the gift of giving. Every child deserves to feel that.

That November, I created our first set of lesson kits

for Drew’s first-grade class.

Those early kits sparked countless conversations and lasting memories.

This solidified for me just how powerful the gift of giving can be-

and that’s why we still stand by our Keep-One-Give-One model today, tenfold.

And they lived happily ever after…

NOT QUITE

No Help. No Hope.

By the time Drew was nine, the kids had gotten older

and “being mean” had escalated to a whole new level.

Drew wept uncontrollably almost every day after school.

He started to show warning signs for suicide.

I was terrified.

After he was cornered in a bathroom by two boys,

I feared for his safety at school.

Things were spiraling.

People said,

“Ask to change classes and teachers.”

“Go to the school board.”

“Change schools.”

But I asked myself,

“What would that fix?”

And I knew the answer.

Nothing.

That’s when I realized- no one really knew what to do.

There was nothing to empower Drew.

Nothing to help me help him.

Nothing to help turn some of the most negative, impactful, painful moments into positive, impactful, teachable ones.

No resources that could help *both* Drew and the kids who were hurting him…kids who, I knew, were hurting, too.

I knew I had to do something.

So, I asked Drew if he was willing to take what we were already doing-

and go bigger and louder.

I am thankful every day that he said, “YES.”

My brave world-changer stepped through the darkness to be a light…again.

In 2017 we created something because there was nothing.

It helped me help him.

It saved him.

It saved me.

It saved us.

If it saves one child like it saved Drew...

If it saves one parent like it saved me…

If it saves anyone like it saved us…

IT MATTERS.

That’s our WHY.

I will always be grateful that I get to do this work with Drew-
that he’s still here, and that we’ve been entrusted with the mission
to use our stories and strengths in service to others.

And while his strengths are many, it's his artwork that brings

what we do to life on the page. His artwork, the characters he creates,

speak for us and share our message. Not to mention the two books

he wrote when he was nine years old and later illustrated himself at 15.

Want to join our community?! Click HERE! Whoo hoo!

But, for me, this barely scratches the surface of paying it forward

in gratitude.

ELF365 is My Secret Pond

Gratitude, Grandad and Guidance

I had no idea that the foundational years of my childhood- nearly 50 years ago (Aye, aye, aye, typing that makes me feel SO OLD!!) were quietly preparing me for the work I do today. I truly believe that ELF365 wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for my childhood hero…my Grandad.

I grew up in a small town quietly tucked in the beautiful, golden pastureland of rural Oklahoma. The most pivotal moments of my childhood were spent with Grandad.

When we weren’t talking at the kitchen counter or out on the back deck,

we were pond-hoppin’ between Grandad’s secret ponds in the open prairies

of Osage County.

I would run to Grandad every time I had a problem.

WHY?

Because he always took the time to sit, listen, and reflect with me.

He let me process my feelings, which validated me, and made me feel seen, important, and loved.

He didn’t lecture or bandwagon.

He asked gentle questions and shared relatable stories, offering perspectives that sparked empathy and understanding. The biggest difference, the part I now understand was so rare, was his neutrality.

He was loving but never negative or judgmental.

Grandad impacted the trajectory of my entire life- and in turn, Drew’s-

through the loving and objective way he guided me.

The world needs that kind of guidance now more than ever.

My passion for this work was deepened the day I heard the quiet whisper,

“Be there for kids like Grandad was there for you.”

Grandad’s secret ponds have become my metaphor for the simple,

joy-filled presence and soul-deep peace we each hope to find.

That zenith is often only reached after we’ve met our own hurt

with love and quiet truth.

THAT’S WHY…COMING SOON....

***GUIDANCE FOR GROWN-UPS!***

No one wakes up thinking, “Hey, I think I’ll be a BEEP today!”

That’s why I'm launching:

The Secret PondCast (yep- double pun intended!)
Don’t Be a BEEP with Carmen Miller on social media

Both heading your way- ready or not!

(And trust me, I’m not! Lol)

I’d love to invite you into my cRaZy and wonderfully weird world,

where I share stories and reflections with a heavy dose of imperfection!

I’m happy to take one for the team if it helps you

find your very own Secret Pond.

And yes, I’m looking at *YOU*

...from the very bottom of the dog pile! Lol

Let's get this party started!

Click HERE to download our FREE

7 Pointers for Parents to Help Your Kid Deal With a Mean Kid poster.

Want to dive deeper?

The full 7 Pointers article lives on our free members-only page
where I unpack the why behind each pointer, share the real-life moments that inspired them, and offer more context, connection, and support.
Click HERE to join our community!

As Grandad used to say-

“Now there’s some sense to that.”

~ Joe Rash

All my love,

Outreach

ELF365 was created to help as many kids as possible ELF365!

(Yep, ELF365 is also a verb! )

That’s why proceeds help provide FREE ELFercise Kits for Kids.
Since 2017, we’ve donated over 15,000 free Kits in 15 countries and 46 states- that’s 30,000+ lessons shared around the world… and counting!

Thanks to YOU and your support, we’ve also donated 550+ books and 675+ toys to children across the United States…and we’re just getting started! 😉

ELF365 follows a socially conscious, Buy-One-Give-One model, like TOMS and Warby Parker,

so we can stay financially sustainable and keep giving freely. It allows us to protect our story, stay flexible, and focus on impact instead of endless fundraising and paperwork.

The heart of ELF365 is simple but powerful:

Empathy + love and acceptance of others,

and equally important, love and acceptance of self.

ELF365 is all about kids helping kids.

We believe children are uniquely positioned to help,

influence and motivate their peers.

By harnessing the overwhelming power of peer pressure,

and using it for good, ELF365 encourages kids to:

“Think like an ELF and be your best sELF.”

Click HERE to join our community!

COMING 2026 → ELF365 Degrees
Designed for schools, nonprofits and groups,

ELF365 Degrees isn’t just a program-

it’s a movement created to spark a culture change!

One where empathy comes naturally and embracing our “weird” is the norm!

ELF stands for Exemplify Love and Friendship.

ELF365 equips kids to lead with kindness, empathy, and courage—

EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Our tools are simple, memorable, and designed for real-world impact:

ELFercises are short, rhyming, story-based learning card kits that teach social-emotional skills through hands-on giving.

Each Kit follows our Keep-One-Give-One model:
Kids cut the card down the middle—keeping the front artwork (a collectible character card featuring Drew’s illustrations) and one small item- then place the lesson story, along with a second item,

back in the resealable bag to pass along.
One ELFercise = double the impact!

Pointers for Parents & Teachers are far more than just tips- they’re thoughtful, compassionate guides offering deeper insight, emotional context, and real-life tools to help adults support kids with heart and intention when doing ELFercises and reading ELF365 stories. The optional Pointers for Parents Plus+ Extension Activity Sets take ELFercises to an entirely new level.

ELFercise compilation and companion books expand the world of ELF365, bringing our themes to life through memorable characters, storylines, and playful, purposeful learning.

Together, these resources help children become positive peer role models-

at school, at home, and in the world.

So, what does it REALLY mean to think like an ELF and be your best sELF?

All ELFs are asked to recite and follow our Code of Conduct and Declaration-
simple but powerful reminders of who we are and how we lead with love.

ELF365 Code of Conduct